Experience:3g Syrian Rue + 10g Mimosa Hostilis - Bodyload and empathy

Experience reports - Ayahuasca

• Dosage - 3g of Peganum harmala (Syrian Rue) along with 10g of powdered Mimosa hostilis root bark prepared using the Ayahuasca cupcake recipe.
• Setting - My girlfriend's house, with my girlfriend and her dog
• Age - 30
• Gender - male
• Date - November 2021

Introduction

I have some experience with psychedelics, but not that many. I've always been fascinated with the concept behind Ayahuasca and the idea of a "god" living inside a substance. During my 20s, I’ve mostly smoked joints and got drunk, but I always stayed away from psychedelics. Guess it didn't just happen. Before my last year of PhD, I've only experimented once with ampethamine and once with LSD. It all changed when a friend of mine decided to share some DMT with me. After it, me and my friends started experimenting with DET, benzydamine, LSD and LSA. Then few months passed, and I came back to my hometown. I was living again with my mum, since me and my girlfriend were having issues. It was in this period that I decided to buy some shredded Mimosa Hostilis from a website, but I've been struggling isolating the precious spice. After few attempts, I brought a sample to a friend of mine, who was also a chemist, and he attempted a quick extraction into the lab. He said that the spice was difficult to isolate because of the low content inside of the roots that I had, and he suggested to try taking the root along with the Syrian rue that I’ve bought. I decided to take the ayahuasca cupcake on a Sunday at my girlfriend's house. I didn’t have to go to work the day after due to a holiday. However, my girlfriend was having one of her bad day, in which she just wanted to complain and be angry at everybody. We had a small discussion and she confirmed that she was completely OK with what I was doing, but I had to clarify that I've been looking forward to that day for months, and that I needed a good tripsitter, in the right state of mind, since I didn't know what I was going to experience.

Preparation

Since I was surely going to puke, I did everything on an empty stomach. The extraction of Syrian Rue went perfect. Firstly, I tried to shred the seeds the best I could by using a knife. I put the shredded seeds in a bowl containing water and I added some vinegar in order to facilitated the acid extraction. After a few minutes I could see the water becoming red due to the presence of harmaline in solution. I let it boil for a while in order to narrow the volume down to a small coffee cup (2 ml).

For the cupcake, I took a chocolate bar (75% cocoa) and I melted in a pan. I mixed with the shredded root and then I pour the disgusting mixture in some small containers and I put them in the oven. When they looked done. I waited for almost 15 minutes, then I started eating the cupcakes. They were one of the most disgusting taste that I’ve ever tried. The chocolate didn’t mask at all the bitterness of the roots. I eventually ate most of that. It took me nearly 20-30 minutes to eat everything. When I was done, I was feeling a strong nausea, but I couldn’t tell if it was coming from the cupcakes or the MAO inhibition effect.

Experience Report

Time: 0 min - At first I felt something that was like an energetic sensation. I think it could have been the rue. I started salivating as well. It was not an ordinary salivation, it is kind the kind of feeling you have when you are almost puking.

Time: 15 min - I didn't expect to feel something else coming from the DMT so soon. I couldn't even distinguish what was coming from what. I remember feeling a little anxious about what was could possibly happen.

Time: 20 min - The salivation continues. I try to puke in the bathroom, but it didn't worked. Came back in the kitchen and put some music. We put some Etta James to set up the good mood. I was surprised that I was happy, like there was a happiness living inside me that just needed to be taken outside.

Time: 25 min - I felt something that was just...big, and powerful. It kinda upset me at first. I can imagine why some people freak out at the beginning of an ayahuasca trip. That was definitively the DMT taking place. The surroundings looked kinda normal though. I noticed that the woodgrain of the kitchen looked interesting, like there was more contrast between the different types of brown inside the woodgrains. The sensation was unsettling and spiritual at the same time. I felt a little bit disconnected from my body. At the same time, I felt that I was a spirit living in my own body. I could control it, I could walk, speak, pee and shit like everybody else, but my body...it wasn't important. It was just a...thing, and what mattered was what was inside. Me? My spirit? I don't know. I never believed in souls or gods or anything like that, but it felt so real.

Time: 30 min - At this point I tried again to vomit. I went to the bathroom and nothing happened again. As I tried to raised my head from the WC, I vomited like the baby from the exorcist. I closed my eyes doing that and it triggered the imagine of a monster, like a 2D drawing in black. It kinda reminded me of the little satan from the Hercules cartoon. I vomited again, and I think I was tripping at this time because I remember that the vomit was green, but I think my perception of color was altered. I went out of the bathroom feeling super clean and estatic. I watched the curtains and I realized that the room wasn't dark as I remember it. I tried to tell my girlfriend that there was a lot of light in her room and she just told me that I was wrong. Still, it seemed real nice to me.

Time: 35 min - I went to my girlfriend and I could see that she was upset. Actually, I could feel that she was upset. I felt super empathetic, I felt that I could embrace the feeling of other beings inside of me. That is usually very difficult to me since I'm such a self-centered person. I actually felt the feeling of the dog. Or, at least, it seemed like. It felt like I could read her and the dog like an open book. She suggested to go out, but I stopped her. I told her: "Sorry, but before you go out, I can feel that there's something wrong that bothers you.". Initially, she resisted me. Then she opened to myself, and I encouraged her to tell me everything. She told me that she was living one of these days in which she felt that nothing that she could do could be interesting and that she was trying to have the motivation to do even a single thing, but she couldn't find it. After she told me that, I could feel that she was calmer.

Time: 50 min - I went out and tied my shoes. As I looked down at the ground, it seemed to me that the stone floor was infinite, like a world within the world. I could see its little inhabitant, the ant, working busily, moving, but I had the feeling of perceiving the space in which it moved, its vastness, exactly in the way a small ant perceives herself in front of that boundless plain of cement.

Time: 60 min - Thrilled by the experience of the ant, I proceeded with interest to take a walk with me and my girlfriend in the middle of the fields and trees, in the hope of other cosmic and interesting revelations and visual effects. Unfortunately, from this point on, I felt that the effects were already diminishing.

Time - 90 min - During the walk, I tried to look as much as possible at the plants, their shapes and colors. Apart from a greater interest in the shapes of the branches and their orientation, I did not notice anything particular. It definitively looked like I was coming down.

Time - 120 min - After two hours, everything felt normal again.

After thoughts

Normally, I would never have taken that amount of mimosa if I had not already been able to verify that the content of DMT inside the roots in my possession was at least ten times lower than I expected. I do not advise anyone, therefore, except for experienced consumers, to start with such a high dose of Mimosa.

My suggestion is that the cupcake recipe is kinda stupid. The only way to sweeten the bitter taste due to the tannins of mimosa is to use milk chocolate, although it is not at all advisable to eat something immediately after taking an MAOI such as harmaline. You can easily extract DMT in its protonated form by boiling into an acidic solution. I'll suggest lemon. Make a lemon tea. You can boil it until you significantly reduce the volume, so that you can try to chug it later. Still, you get a strong bitter taste, but nothing compared to the powder inside the solid cupcake. When you make a tea, you can easily reduce the bitterness by adding tons of sugar or honey, you will surely need sugar later in the trip. When you do harmaline, you don't want to introduce compound that need to be digested.

Not that I care too much about the argument that DMT could be the infamous "spirit molecule" or not. As far as I’m concerned, with tryptamines (I also include LSD in the category), the key is their interaction with the 5HT-2A receptor. For me, it makes no sense to bring a theological debate into a scientific disquisition. In Huxley’s book, LSD: My Problem Child, a shaman tried pills given to her by Huxley that contained psilocybin and performed a ritual which is usually performed under the influence of shrooms. The ritual went well and the shaman said that the God she believed was also inside the pills that the scientist gave to ther. In my opinion, the debate wether DMT is the "spirit molecule" died when Huxley found this connection between the substance and its anthropological-cultural location. In a sense, we can say that they are all "spirit molecule", but this depends on the meaning that we attribute to them as a community or a society. Psylocibin, like Ayahuasca and Peyotl, had had an important role in the development of native American societies and they had been regularly consumed by sacerdotes and shamans for millenia.

In my experience, I could only get a glimpse of what is the real power of Ayuahasca. Overall, I don’t think it was worth throwing up for a trip of just over an hour and a half, but I will never forget how it felt natural to stop thinking about myself and put me completely at the disposal of others. I’m sure that DMT is able to bring out a better person than than the one I usually am. It also felt like that person somehow is hidden somewhere, and that it struggles to get out, buried in the thousand wrong habits that I carry with me every day.

I don’t suggest to anyone to do the things at home like I did. When the effect starts to build-up, the feeling is really strong and can be very unsettling, it is better to be with someone experienced.