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| '''"The most important aspect of a meditative practice is that of practicing [[mindfulness]]. A concept which can be broken down into two distinct subcomponents."''' | | '''"The modern ''iteration'' of the phenomenon generally approaches the concept differently, treating tulpas as permanent every-day companions, created to accompany hosts in their daily life."''' |
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| *sentence fragment. doesnt make sense by itself. | | *iteration: use a simpler word that all English speaking readers will understand to increase readability |
| | *every-day does not have a dash. it's either "everyday" or "every day" depending on specific rules. |
| | **"everyday" is an adjective (describes a noun) used to describe things that (1) occur every day, or (2) are ordinary or commonplace. |
| | **"every day": the adjective (describes a noun) "every" modifies the noun (person, place, thing, or idea) "day". |
| | *For example, every day you eat breakfast. You brush your teeth every day. Maybe you go for a walk every day. These are everyday activities. |
| | *to find out which one to use, replace everyday/every day with "each day". |
| | **If "each day" would make sense in its place, then you want the two-word form. |
| | **Everyday, meanwhile, is synonymous with daily or ordinary |
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| *"The most important aspect of a meditative practice is [[mindfulness]], a concept which can be broken down into two distinct subcomponents."
| | '''"The distinguishing factor that separates a tulpa from an imaginary ''friend, is'' the way in which the host experiences no sense of agency or sense of ownership over the thoughts and actions of the tulpa."''' |
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| '''"In order overcome this and document meditation as whole, [[psychonautwiki]] is simply going to devise a simple, open source, usable technique and set of information to define a generalized meditation methodology and its different components."'''
| | *you don't put commas where you pause in speech. this is a common misconception which makes people use excess and unneeded commas |
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| *this sounds terrible.... don't do this... you shouldn't be adding the word "psychonautwiki" | |
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| *"In order to overcome this and document meditation as a whole, a simple and usable open source technique and a set of information have been devised to define a generalized meditation methodology and its different components."
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| '''"This is with the belief that it will be equal or greater in efficiency within the way its regular practice induces specific [[Meditation#Subjective effects|subjective effects]]."'''
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| *ok you've already used the word "this" for every single sentence in this paragraph so think of something new now. and you need to make clear what "it" is.
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| '''This is repeated with the intention of quietening ''ones'' mind.'''
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| *quietening 11111111111111s
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| *im pretty sure the only time you'll ever use ones without an apostrophe is if you are detailing with actual number ones.
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| *one's mind... always add apostrophe onto "ones"
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| '''The average human being ''which'' ''attemptes'' to ''quieten'' their thoughts will notice that their inner monologue will autonomously interject and distract one from the task at hand in a fashion which seems entirely uncontrollable.'''
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| "The average human being who"
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| *use "who" for people
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| *use "which" for things
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| *use "that" for things and (informally) people
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| attempts
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| quiet
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| '''"During the performation of this task as an act of mediation, attention is placed upon the movement of the abdomen when breathing in and out..."'''
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| '''"During the ''performation'' of this task as an act of mediation, attention is placed upon the repetition of a repeated and outwardly spoken phrase of one's own choosing."'''
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| '''"During the ''performation'' of this task as an act of mediation, [[mindfulness]] is intensively placed upon the act of upholding a task of any sort with varying levels difficulty depending on what one chooses."'''
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| *performation isn't even a word... wtf
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| *it's called "performance"
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| '''"A famous exercise is the mindful tasting of a raisin, in which a raisin is being tasted and eaten mindfully."'''
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| *too redundant
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| '''https://psychonautwiki.org/w/index.php?title=Meditation&type=revision&diff=55477&oldid=55463'''
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| *too much to put here
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| '''"It has been clinically demonstrated that those who begin 30 minutes of [[mindfulness]] mediation practice a day demonstrate detectable changes within their brain structure and report a number of positive effects to their overall well-being. (ref:http://phys.org/news/2011-01-mindfulness-meditation-brain-weeks.html) This demonstrates that even short-term periods of regular meditation have a clinically significant and measurable therapeutic effect on a neurological level. It is therefore logical to suppose based upon both the reports of those who retain meditation routines for longer periods of time and the simple logic that these effects continue to increase in intensity with persistent, regular and extended practice."'''
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| *first sentence: needs a time frame. 8 weeks? i have no idea, i didnt read the study
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| *last sentence doesn't make sense at all, needs to be rewritten
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| '''"Therefore, if one wishes to fully experience the changes in perception which meditation has to offer. They must maintain a persistent routine for as much and as long as reasonably possible."'''
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| *incomplete sentence
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| *If it begins with "if" then it needs a "then" later on in the sentence
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| '''"https://psychonautwiki.org/w/index.php?title=Meditation&diff=prev&oldid=55481"'''
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| '''"These range from sitting, standing to walking."'''
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| *"sitting, standing"
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| *you can't use a comma when it's just two things. you have to use a conjunction like "and" or "or"
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| *would be "sitting and standing to walking"
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| *orrrrr "sitting, standing or walking"
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| '''"This has been done so done so to avoid the cultural, mythological and religious connotations which meditation is usually associated with."'''
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| *how does this even happen
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| '''https://psychonautwiki.org/w/index.php?title=Meditation&type=revision&diff=55491&oldid=55489'''
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| '''"This generalized methodology can be broken down into a three simple components which are listed below."'''
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| *you have to define what these things are because it is not obvious at all.
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"The modern iteration of the phenomenon generally approaches the concept differently, treating tulpas as permanent every-day companions, created to accompany hosts in their daily life."
- iteration: use a simpler word that all English speaking readers will understand to increase readability
- every-day does not have a dash. it's either "everyday" or "every day" depending on specific rules.
- "everyday" is an adjective (describes a noun) used to describe things that (1) occur every day, or (2) are ordinary or commonplace.
- "every day": the adjective (describes a noun) "every" modifies the noun (person, place, thing, or idea) "day".
- For example, every day you eat breakfast. You brush your teeth every day. Maybe you go for a walk every day. These are everyday activities.
- to find out which one to use, replace everyday/every day with "each day".
- If "each day" would make sense in its place, then you want the two-word form.
- Everyday, meanwhile, is synonymous with daily or ordinary
"The distinguishing factor that separates a tulpa from an imaginary friend, is the way in which the host experiences no sense of agency or sense of ownership over the thoughts and actions of the tulpa."
- you don't put commas where you pause in speech. this is a common misconception which makes people use excess and unneeded commas
